Foot in Mouth Disease...

...I seemed to have caught it, quite hard too. 

Having a text discussion with a friend of mine I ended up saying something completely asinine that in result hurt him very much.  It takes you half a second to realize what a moron you were and you begin to frantically try to explain yourself... and in the end you just sound like a complaining idiot.  

I've said previously that I am very proud of the friends I have, I still am of course, but I find myself learning more and more from them everyday. Just when you think you know a person you begin to take things for granted and you start to assume certain aspects about them as a given. And my what a big slap in the face I had when I started to assume...

I think it has become a huge misconception that in order to form a lasting friendship one has to divulge everything about themselves within the first few days of seeing each other just to provide each other validation and faith in similarities.  If you really think about it, I mean REALLY think about it, you sort of realize that many of your friendships may have been formed that.  Well today I realized that as much as I think I may have known my friend, I was quick to understand that some people have very good reasons to be conservative about their willingness to share their past experiences...and patience is a key ingredient to a lasting friendship. 

Other than that speed bump my week so far has been uneventful. I finished reading Skinny Bitch in 4 hours and I've had some SERIOUS contemplations about becoming vegan. Me; the ambassador of all that is bovine to become a Vegemite. Now before y'all start telling me that I'm just joining a hype and that I will fall off the wagon by the end of the first week  by stuffing my face with ribs, hear me out. The only reason why I am contemplating such a drastic lifestyle change is because I just don't think my body can handle it anymore. I'm already lactose intolerant, I can't stand chicken...and as much as I love a juicy steak, I feel like a beached whale after a few bites.  However, I am still human. I will never give up fish, and I will continue to drink like a fish...organic or not.  

So next week I start my new regime of a healthier me. Obviously it takes baby steps but I don't feel daunted about this at all. And don't worry, I won't turn into some granola breath bitch preaching about the joys of tofu, so you can sleep comfortably now.

By the way, my friend and I are cool :p

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

" Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick." 

That was the feeling I had once I finished watching a particular two-part episode on Dr. Who. It was so creepy that my heart actually fluttered from shock. I tried explaining this to my friends and they just smiled and nodded...and gently pet my head. They love me. 

Also, what happened last night is a clear example of how much of a klutz I am.  Not only did I spill water and break the glass while doing so, but I also broke a magnet on the fridge. How I did this I do not know...I had to touch it though it was a cow magnet. And since it was 1 in the morning it took all of my might to not bust a gut laughing at the retardedness of the situation. These two events happened within mere minutes of each other: Petro just finishes cleaning up my mess, turns around, then realizes he has to glue a magnet back together....at that point I was banished to stand still and not move. Today I'll find out if his mom bitched at him or not...hehehehehe. 

In the midst of Doctorin' the Tardis and making an ass out of myself, I managed to be quite productive and FINALLY laid out the structure of the ezine....I already gave out assignments as well.  This week I am meeting with some very good friends who will help and offer advice and get this thing off the ground. I am hoping by summer time I will have more than enough content and info to have the site up an running. And it gives me enough time to think of a name...I did have one in mind previously but now I'm quite tired of it so I'm juggling with a few options. We shall see...

Odd little news I found out on Saturday: an ex of mine from ages ago chatted up with me on MSN and decided to tell me all nonchalant-like that he was shot at a few weeks ago. And then he proceeds to tell me he has to get going. That's the problem with him, I never know whether he is telling the truth or whether he just randomly tells me these things to get me thinking about him. I don't know...the dude is married now but that's a whole other topic that I'll get to eventually. So at a local bar he "probably pissed off the wrong American" and he shot him in the stomach. Luckily it was just a graze but fuck he made it as if it was merely a flesh wound! That's the way he is: he drops you a bomb like that and then leaves, like it's no big deal....no wonder we broke up...

I have to go to work soon, and I REALLY don't feel like it. Again, how hard is it to choose a number between 1-10? It is almost as if people are too afraid to commit themselves to a number and they feel that this rating shall forever be written in stone and as a result they will be firing 10,000 Bell employees from Bangladesh.  Uh, no. Grab a hold of your shriveled up balls and give me a proper answer for the love of fuck...

I love Mondays...

On the Road to Nowhere

Thank goodness it's Friday...this seemed to be a never ending week. 

My progress at the survey joint is good, apparently I'm already hitting my quota and my boss is already my bitch: "If you need anything, ANYTHING, at all PLEASE tell me and I will make you as comfortable as possible." She likes me because I actually show up on time and I don't sound like I just came off the boat.  

Tragic news though, although I really shouldn't have gotten my hopes up on this anyway. I had my phone interview today and was not "considered a good candidate" for that position because although it requires 95% English speaking skills, that measly 5% of French skills trumps it all, even though I have over 3 years worth of experience and whatnot. So I'm back on the job hunt again...the survey place is fine but I can't live off the pennies that they offer me an hour. 

I'm not liking the way my CV is looking anyway: too much banking and not enough of media arts.  So I've decided that even if I need to do internships or freelance, I have to build my portfolio no matter what.  I'm determined to depend on no one but myself when it comes to a career so if it means doing drudgery for nothing, then so be it.  

This weekend I'll be doing a bit of research on building a simple website and getting a domain name, it's time to get this shit started.  I was always daunted at what laid ahead of me in regards to building this ezine. I always felt that if it failed at least I have something steady to fall back on. But I can't keep thinking that way anymore. If this project is going to be my little brainchild, my future moneymaker, I can't think of it half assed. I have to put my full energy into it. I'll be one of those maniacs at coffee shops having a nervous twitch with greasy hair and rapidly typing away at their laptops...totally hot. 

Expectations are high, especially from myself. One doesn't want to consider failure as an option but I have to be realistic about these things.  If it fails by not being popular enough, not targeting the right demographic, or just being a clone of something else...then I have to go back to the drawing board and get the creative juices flowing again. 

So no, maybe I shouldn't title this entry as On the Road to Nowhere. 

I feel better now, or maybe that's just delirium kicking in because my hunger is at a ravenous point...what do you think?

Cubicle Claustrophobia

As much as the place may be neat and clean...I was feeling major cabin fever working there.  My "work area" was very tight and we had actual phones instead of an automatic dialer/ headset thingy.  And since I'm so used to numerical typing I had to stop myself from dialing client numbers on the keyboard...and not on the actual phone... But considering it is a telemarketing place I was pretty pleased with the job. It's basically straight forward surveys and I don't need to annoy people if they don't want to talk. And yes I was a goof by being excited about my first completed survey....

Our trainer was a special sort of man: Gangly and old he smelled of sour death and coffee and made me contemplate why I showered since he kept spraying his point to everyone. But other than that it was bearable. 

And now for the weekend update: It was most excellent :) 

Firstly on V-day, Marie-Eve and I went to a swank event hosted by our dear friends at Horsemen Entertainment.  Everyone had to wear red or mahogany and the venue was at Le Crystal hotel.  See now the invite said to be there for 8, and we wanted to be fashionably late so we get there for 10:30. Lo and behold we're the only ones there. So we get a drink and chill.  Soon after we see our friend the DJ and he sways over to us and says "Next time you go to a black people party show up at 1."  So we cackled, finished our drink and headed out to get some grub to sustain us for the night.

We hit Crescent and find a small little Italian resto that had decent prices. We walk in and it's mayhem:  Middle aged men and woman dancing on tables and singing along to some guy at a piano.  We managed to get seated and served right away...and I must say that our waiter was quite the piece of eye candy. Young though but he served a purpose. We dined and as we left he did something cute and got us two roses from a nearby vase...my first rose of the year.  

So we head back to the hotel and the party is finally jammin'. Music is pumpin' and people are starting to come in.  We spent the night chatting with people and getting our picture taken by the photographer. Good times indeed. 

I took a few pics myself but they came out so nasty I won't even grace my friends on Crackbook with them...even I have standards.  However we did look smashing: Marie-eve and I had the whole Victorian goth thing going on. But I'm positive she was much more comfortable than I. I decided to squeeze myself in a corset AND a tight skirt...on the ride home I was becoming delirious from the lack of oxygen and constant pressure on my ribs.  But by the time I crawled my ass into bed I was able to feel my arms again. Ah the things we do...

Sunday was a lazy day but in the evening Soula and I dined at Petro's place and satisfied out Dr. Who addiction by watching a few episodes of season 4. I almost had a conniption from the new revelations. You all will join the movement once I'm through with you...

Now I'm going to satisfy another addiction.....Nutella.

Colder Than a Witch's Tit

Yes, that cold. I actually stopped myself from grunting as I was walking to the metro, that's how nasty Montreal weather is. 

Now I'm all warm and snuggled inside my miniscule bed, ah these are the moments that make life worth living. 

Today was a day dedicated to my friends; whether it was helping them in their homework, man troubles, or just spending time with them...my goal was to put a smile on their faces.  

Some people have friends that they've known since they were toddlers, I on the other hand didn't find true friendship until I started working and going to college.  Everyone else before that gave me nothing but disappointment.  I think you begin to appreciate your friendships more as you meet them at an older age. I seem to notice also that people hold on to friendships only because they've known them for so long, not because they've been a good friend.  I can't think that way.  I can't put myself through frustration and denial just to not hurt the other person's feelings.  People grow and change, sometimes faster than others.  

I am fiercely loyal to the friends I have now, and I know without a doubt that backstabbing will never occur. Oh of course there will be times where I want to rip off one of their heads in frustration or shake them violently because they don't know their way around the Eaton Center(you know who you are...) but these moments are just in passing.  

On several occasions it has been suggested that I move to Toronto or even New York because I would have a better chance of developing my career.  I've been told that there isn't really a market profitable enough in my field in Montreal and that I would have better chances elsewhere. I was also told that because I have no ties here that it would be easier for me to move....meaning not being in a relationship.  However, unless I give it the best shot I could in this city, I would never know for sure whether I would make the right decision or not.  And leaving the family of friends that I made here would leave me depressed, truly.

Besides I'm too broke to even fathom moving. 

So no, moving out of the city is just not an option for me right now, and hopefully it never will be.  As much as this city is full of idiots and bipolar weather, it is where I grew up as an adult and became the person I am.  I will continue to bitch about the snow that I am waist deep in, complain about the week long summer, and yell at the language police...but all this just adds to its charm, and I really wouldn't have it any other way.  

By the way, Happy Friday the 13th kids ;)

Wolfman's Got Nards!!!!

Ah, I do love cheesy horror movies...if you can guess correctly which movie that was from you get a cookie and a pat on the head!

So my day began with meeting up with Nick and using his McGill ID to print out some lessons for my client, then at 4 I had my "interview" for that survey place. Basically all I did was show up, fill out an application form, read the survey questions, and agree to a starting date. The turn over rate must be insane. 

But, the place looks clean and decent, and that's a good thing to have at a telemarketing company. I've worked at some rat holes with worn out cubicles and black screened "computers" with no mouse. Pure ghetto.  Whatever,  it's only for two months anyway and I don't have to wake up at the crack of ass anymore. I rolled out of bed with a huge smile on my face because I didn't have an alarm blaring at me.  Yay for me, I won't look like death in the morning anymore!!!

I just received my pay from last week, it feels so good to see a non negative amount in your account...but then the smile fades as you start slashing it apart with the bills you have to pay. 

*sigh* 

Tomorrow is Friday the 13th, I plan on drinking and helping Tina with her homework. Bad mix?  Fuck no it's gonna be hella educational.  I'm sure she'll just love my rendition of Shakespeare in between the slurs and the belches.  What more can a girl want?

Strawberries and Sugar

Can't get sweeter than that, no? I needed it considering what crap I went through these past two days. 

Yesterday wasn't too horrible, I was just so tired when I came home I fell asleep at 7:30, I felt like a senior citizen. Today however was a tad different. I start my day at work fairly decently, but as the hours progressed I began to learn more about the office politics at this particular bank. 

Firstly, let's set the atmosphere: I am the youngest person on that floor, and most likely the only girl not going through menopause or experiencing chronic hot flashes. Also, everyone is on contract, so it can get a little discouraging as you have aspirations of moving up in the company when you've seen people on contract for years with no sight for advancement. 

I finish my shift at 4:30, but at 4 my boss vaguely told me that today is my last day and that my help would not be needed anymore. Way to give me notice lady! It's almost a double edged sword: you bust your ass to get recognized, and when you are seen as a good producer, they use you dry until there is nothing left.  Ah, the joys of banking...

On a good note though I am going to be working for a survey joint next week. So yea I'm back on the phones...ugh. 

Three jobs in two months...my tax return is going to be fabulous. 

I am still tutoring though, although I am mainly doing it for the money, I forgot how rewarding and fun it is. I'd do it for free if money wasn't an issue.  

Oh, I'm buying my Opeth tickets on friday!!!!! I'm so excited :D

Eyes that squint like Rene Zellweger

Apparently that's what I have when I hardly have a wink of sleep. Ever notice that after Bridget Jones she seems to always have an English-esque accent in her later films?....just an observation.

So I managed to survive the day with zero travesties, however on the metro ride home I scared a few children with my glazed stares and jolts of waking up, and random snorting.  

I did receive some good news, I will be having a phone interview with the bank of choice next week...I've been aching for that particular job for quite a while now so I'm happy the ball is finally rolling.  Steady income here we come!!! I swear you know when you're broke when you know exactly how much money you have in your account...to the cent.

An interesting conversation I had last night brought me to the contemplation of the varying degrees of calling someone a "dork." We all know what it means, who we envision as we think of the word, and how to use it. But have you ever thought of variations on dorkness...like is there an uber dork, sub dork, quasi dork, flaming dork? I only ask this because simply calling someone a dork just isn't enough. You know they fit in that category but feel you must put some extra adjective in front of dork in order to satisfy the effect.  

And now I have given the perfect example of someone who is a flaming dork...

Gurgle gurgle

I think I had 15 minutes worth of sleep...this day shall be fun...

Smokes for Shakespeare

Ok, ok…I really have to start getting the hang of this again. It’s been over two weeks and I haven’t posted anything. Forgive me?

 

Well it has been pretty interesting, full of partying, laughs, and even cleaning up animal shit!

 

Let’s start from the beginning shall we? The 30^th was an excruciatingly long day spent downtown doing fuck all. Oh I had things to do, but in between these arrangements were long hours of staring blankly outside a window.  In the afternoon I had an appointment with a job agency, I was arranged to start working at a bank for a short term contract starting the next week. Full time data entry. Whatever it was money in my pocket so I could have cared less. 

 

After my appointment I bump into a friend and chill with her and her boyfriend at a café were we got free food, which was great because we were all broke and her boyfriend does some business with the owners. Yes, anything to get a freebie.

 

Once they had to get going I ended up at Chapters putsing around reading about my horoscopes and whatnot. Now the only reason I am downtown for so long was because I was going to see Pierre once he finished work, which was at 11 pm. We were taking over a friend’s apartment over the weekend while they were on vacation so we planned on heavily boozing it up.

 

 So I’m at Chapters until 9:45, as they were closing any minute. Head outside and sit at a food court for another 45 mins watching a nasty teenybopper couple making out, I wanted to shoot myself from the pure boredom I was experiencing.  Leave to yet another mall and pass some time there, then get kicked out by the security guards due to closing hours. Finally 11 rolls around and I’m at Pierre’s place of employment, enjoying the indoor heating. We meet and head over to apartment….

 

Ever seen a ferret before? Not only see one, but also spend a significant amount of time with such a creature? At first they are cute, then you start to look at them in loathing and contempt and think of them only as God’s mistakes…. furry clawed devils.  Our friend has two ferrets that are not the brightest of pets.  Now since our friend works long hours he doesn’t have much time cleaning after his pets but makes sure they are adequately fed and otherwise taken care of.  As Pierre and I walk into the apartment, we knew what we had to do, and braced ourselves. Firstly the stench leaves you delirious momentarily, but as the haze lifts from your eyes you realize you are walking into a cornucopia of ferret shit and have to dodge your poor feet away from the piles of poop throughout the floor.  Screaming, gagging and in near tears we scrubbed that place raw before we considered sleeping, or even relaxing for that matter. But after a bottle of Merlot and satisfying gyros, we nuzzled ourselves into bed and tried to forget about the whole matter.

 

The next day the ferrets were calm and didn’t bug me as much. Pierre was at work and I had the place to myself. Watched Queer as Folk and got myself ready for that night’s festivities; I was off to the south shore for Elaine’s birthday J.  

As always her parties are awesome, full of singing and interpretive dance…who could ask for more!? I didn’t sleep until 8:30 am Sunday morning so I think it was time well spent. 

 

Last week was spent working at the bank, waking up at 5:30 is not a pleasant experience, but surprisingly I did not show up late once! It’s a pretty simple job, mainly adjusting interest rates on specific mutual funds. I work with some pretty cool people so it gets me through the day. However there are increasing occasions in which my mind wanders and I snap out of my daze then realize 30 mins have passed by and I adjusted the same account 15 times. Oops!

This weekend I’m actually relaxing and pampering myself, I was supposed to see a friend and help her with her Shakespeare homework….my payment, cigs. Now THAT’S a friendJ However she was too sickly so it gave me perfect opperutnity to get my ass in gear and write away…

 

I WILL keep you kids updated, promise!